When the Chip is Down
by Atterb
Summary: Post-Flooded. Spuffy!
1. Smells

Chapter 1: Smells  
  
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Post-Flooded (BtVS)& Post-Carpe Noctem (Angel)  
  
A/N: As always, quotes from  
Takes place just after Buffy leaves LA after talking to Angel.  
  
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Buffy wandered through the graveyard, looking for something to fight. Her meeting with Angel had been short, but also (surprise, surprise!) intense. Between that, her financial issues, and the whole being-torn-from-heaven thing, she desperately needed something to kill.  
  
_Aha_, she thought, as she heard some sounds in the distance. Sprinting towards the source, she found Spike fighting three demons. Two others already lay on the ground, dead.  
  
Buffy catapulted herself into the middle of the fray, next to Spike.  
  
"Mind if I join in ?" she asked as she started wailing on one of the demons, hardly even noticing the terrible stench.  
  
Without even turning to look at her, Spike grinned and said, "Not at all, luv. In fact-" he kicked the demon he was fighting backward, away from the center of the fight, "-I'll even let you have the last two."  
  
Spike quickly dispatched his demon, wanting to watch Buffy. He leaned against a gravestone and lit up a cigarette, admiring her work.  
  
She'd already killed one of the demons, and was clearly toying with the other one, just beating on him to release some pent-up emotion.  
  
Finally, she tired of that game and delivered a death blow.  
  
Spike clapped as he rose. "Beautiful work, luv, just gorgeous."  
  
He walked closer to her, watching as she attempted to wipe some smelly demon goo off her boot.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy mumbled.  
  
Spike cocked his head to the side, indicating his confusion - since when did she thank him? For what?  
  
"For the compliment. And for letting me have the last two demons," she finished.  
  
Spike understood what she meant. Few others would have just watched her fight without jumping in to lend a helping hand. Especially Captain Cardboard and Peaches, they were the worst.  
  
Buffy gave a disgusted sigh as she glowered down at the goo. "Stupid demon guts."  
  
"Those are brains, actually," Spike corrected her  
  
Buffy made an 'ewww' face. "Whatever, they're gross, and smelly." She looked down at her boots. "And I think they're eating into my boots!!"  
  
"I've got some rags back at the crypt if you want to get that stuff off right away."  
  
Worried about her boots, Buffy set off sprinting for his crypt, Spike following close behind.  
  
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"Ugh, glad to have that stuff off me," Buffy said as she finished wiping off the last bit of goo.  
  
A bit had gotten on Spike's precious leather jacket, and he was currently cursing at the small hole the acidic brains had made. Giving up on his coat for the moment, he went and threw out all the rags they'd used.  
  
"Ah, good, that stuff stank," Buffy remarked, breathing the clean air deeply.  
  
Spike nodded absently, obviously concentrating on something. He seemed to be... sniffing?  
  
"Uh, Spike? You in there?" Buffy asked.  
  
He stiffened suddenly, glaring at her. "How dare you?" he growled.  
  
"Uh... how dare I, what?"  
  
"Oh, right, like you don't know. But no, actually, you probably wouldn't have thought about that, since it's all about you!!" Spike snarled, eyes flashing gold.  
  
"And I _still_ have NO idea what you're talking about!" Buffy exclaimed, frustrated.  
  
With a low, menacing growl, Spike barked, "Get the hell out of here."  
  
"What? I-"  
  
"NOW!!" he roared, losing his temper completely. Grabbing up a bottle, he threw it so it smashed at the wall beside her. With one look at him, clearly mad and in 'game face,' Buffy backed out of the crypt slowly, keeping her eyes trained on the angry vampire.  
  
As soon as she was out the door, she took off for home, wondering what the hell had just happened.  
  
Buffy was doubly confused since, before that M'Fashion demon or whatever had attacked the day before, she and Spike had been having a pleasant little conversation - well, up until she'd brought up her financial issues.  
  
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{  
  
BUFFY: Everyone ... they all care. They all care so much, it ... makes it all harder.  
  
SPIKE: I'm not sure I followed you around that bend, luv.  
  
BUFFY: I don't know. I just, I feel like I'm spending all of my time trying to be okay, so they don't worry. It's exhausting. And then, I...  
  
She trails off, makes a frustrated gesture and then clenches her hand into a fist.  
  
SPIKE: And that makes 'em worry even more.  
  
Buffy looks at him, doesn't reply. Spike walks up onto the porch, comes to stand next to her.  
  
SPIKE: You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could probably thin the herd a little.  
  
After a moment Buffy smiles a little. Spike looks pleased.  
  
SPIKE: Knew I could get a grin.  
  
They exchange a look. Buffy moves forward, sits on the top stair, sighs deeply. Spike sits beside her.  
  
BUFFY: Why are you always around when I'm miserable?  
  
SPIKE: 'Cause that's when you're alone, I reckon. I'm not one for crowds myself these days.  
  
They look at each other again.  
  
BUFFY: Me neither.  
  
SPIKE: That works out nicely then.  
  
They sit there quietly, staring out at the night.  
  
BUFFY: So, whaddaya know about finances?  
  
SPIKE: Buffy, if you need money, I can get -  
  
BUFFY (sighs): No, never mind Spike, forget I asked. I can't accept your money, which I'm sure you stole from someone or something.  
  
SPIKE: But -  
  
BUFFY: Spike, I said no!  
  
SPIKE (opens his mouth as if to protest, then shuts it, and shrugs): Fine, pet, have it your way.  
  
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  
  
Buffy had found she liked his company. He wasn't as demanding as the others. And, since he knew the truth about where she'd been, she didn't have to pretend around him, which made for a pleasant change.  
  
_'It has nothing to do with the fact that I might just actually like him for himself. Nope, definitely not...'  
_

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A/N: Please review! Oh, and the flashback was from "Flooded," plus the bit I added on. 


	2. Chips Ahoy!

Chapter 2: Chips Ahoy!  
  
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_  
_The next day, Buffy headed over to his crypt. It was a good excuse for putting off dealing with her money problems.  
  
Deciding that kicking the door in was probably not the way to go today, she knocked. When no one answered, she cautiously peered in.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
Still no answer. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her.  
  
"Spi-" She cut off as she saw him. He was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by bottles; he'd obviously drunken himself unconscious.  
  
As Buffy came closer, she saw that his hands were all bloody, as if he'd been beating on the wall in frustration.  
  
She winced. His hands looked rather nasty.  
  
After trying - and failing - to wake him, Buffy got out his first aid kit and tended to his hands.  
  
_It's only fair I do this,_ she rationalized. _After all, Spike did the same for me when I came back..._  
  
He'd been so thoughtful and caring and wonderful and _not_ overwhelming that first night. He'd understood why her hands were all bloody, since he'd gone through the whole terrifying digging-yourself-out-of-a-grave thing himself.  
  
Buffy stirred from her thoughts when she realized that he was coming around.  
  
"Spike?" she said softly.  
  
His eyes opened a crack. "Buffy... guess I get a good dream for once..."  
  
She smiled. He'd hate it if she ever referred to him as 'cute,' but at times like these, he really was.  
  
"You're not dreaming, Spike. You're just hungover."  
  
He took a minute to process this, while slowly sitting up with Buffy's help.  
  
"Not a dream?" he asked.  
  
She shook her head. "Nope."  
  
"Huh," he croaked as he unsteadily rose to his feet. Clutching at his forehead, he muttered, "Oww, headache... nope, definitely not a dream."  
  
He managed to make it over to his armchair before falling into it.  
  
Buffy followed him. After giving him a minute to recover, she pulled over another chair and asked him, "Can we talk about last night?"  
  
Spike frowned at her, a bit confused. Realization slowly dawned on him. As he remembered, he suddenly shut off from her as he assumed his indifferent face.  
  
"Yeah, what of it?"  
  
Buffy frowned, annoyed that Spike had closed off to her like this. He only did that when something was really important to him - and he really didn't want to talk about it.  
  
Giving him a look, Buffy said, "You know perfectly well what I mean, Spike. Drop the act."  
  
He glanced away as he talked, unable to look at her. "You smelled like.... _him_."  
  
The last word was so enlaced with bitter hatred and anger that Buffy was a bit taken aback. He might have a lot of enemies, but there weren't many that Spike hated like that. Comprehension came a moment later. "You mean-"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They sat there silently for a moment. Finally Spike heaved himself up out of his chair, and went over to pour himself a drink.  
  
Buffy wasn't quite sure what to do, since apologizing was out of the question - after all, this _was_ Spike. "You gonna go all ballistic again if I mention him?"  
  
Spike knocked back the shot as he considered her question.  
  
After having another shot, he finally decided, "Nah," and wandered back to the armchair.  
  
Buffy cleared her throat nervously. "He- he found out I was... back. So I went to go see him."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow.  
  
Taking that as signal to continue, she said, "Yeah. It was all... ya know, angsty and intense and everything..."  
  
"And you're feelin' the need to share this with me because...?"  
  
Buffy sighed. She really didn't want to say it, but... "Because you're the only one who has any idea about what's really going on."  
  
"You mean, I'm the only one who knows that your friends ripped you out of heaven and now you're in hell."  
  
"Well..." Buffy hesitated. Her first instinct was to protest and defend her friends, but... "yeah, that kinda sums it up."  
  
"Are you really never gonna tell 'em? What they did to you, where you were?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, they'd feel guilty... it wouldn't be fair."  
  
"Wouldn't be fair!" Spike leapt up out of his chair, pacing. "Not _fair?!_ Buffy, look at what they did to you!"  
  
"It's not like they meant to tear me out of heaven!"  
  
"What's it matter what they _meant_ to do? It's what they _did_ do!"  
  
"That's not the way it works," Buffy stated, more calmly.  
  
Spike sank back into his armchair and leaned forward, closer to Buffy. Looking at her intensely, he asked, "So intent is all that matters? Not action?"  
  
"That's not what I said!" Buffy responded, frustrated.  
  
"But it's what you meant. Or did you mean that's the way it works for humans, but not for the rest of us."  
  
"I - I don't- Damn it, Spike! I didn't come here to get all philosophical!"  
  
"No," he sneered, "You came 'cause you wanted someone to foist all your woes onto. Not a friend, just a thing to talk to, talk AT, that's it, isn't it, Buffy?"  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
He sighed, tired and still hungover. "Know what? I can't do this right now. I've tried so hard to be... whatever it is you've needed, and usually I'd do anything for you, but right now I want you to leave."  
  
She rose as she said indignantly, "What? No! I'm not going to go, we're going to talk!"  
  
"Please," Spike repeated quietly, but forcefully, as he moved across the room and stood with his back to Buffy.  
  
"Oh no, you got rid of me last night, buddy, but not today!"  
  
She stalked over to where he was standing and pulled on his arm, trying to get him to turn around and face her. He didn't budge.  
  
"Spike!" she yelled, exasperated. Finally she tugged on him hard enough that he spun around and fell backward.  
  
"Bitch!" he yelled as he dropped onto the hard stone floor.  
  
As he stood, Buffy slapped him, hard. Too angry to think about his actions, Spike punched her right back.  
  
Buffy drew back her arm in preparation to punch Spike, then lowered her arm. "How did you do that?"  
  
"What?!" he shouted, confused, angry, and upset.  
  
"The chip..."  
  
Spike's eyes widened as she realized what she meant. "Bloody hell..."  
  
There was another long pause as both tried to figure out what his lack of pain meant, forgetting what they'd been fighting about in the first place. This took precedence.  
  
Buffy broke the silence, asking gravely, "How long has it been out? Or not working?"  
  
"Wha- Buffy, that was as much a surprise to me as it was to you!"  
  
Buffy realized that there had indeed been real shock on his face. Considering what a bad a liar he was, he was probably telling the truth. "So maybe it hasn't been working for a while and you just haven't noticed?"  
  
Spike considered this. "I don't think so.. it was workin' a few nights ago. Damn thing went off when I accidentally shoved the Whelp."  
  
In a very small voice, Buffy said, "So it's me then?"  
  
Spike cocked his head at her. "What's you, pet?"  
  
"The chip not going off when you hit me!"  
  
Spike had started to open his mouth to ask her what she meant when he figured it out. "Oh. You mean if it still works on humans, but doesn't work on you..."  
  
"Then I'm not human. Willow must have screwed up... and I came back wrong," Buffy finished bitterly. She slumped down onto her chair, her face in her hands, trying desperately not to cry. _ 'I came back wrong, came back wrong...' _the refrain pounded through her brain.  
  
Spike debated with himself for a minute. This was his chance to convince her that she was no better than he was, that she belonged in the dark with him. But... he knew that wasn't the truth. And the Buffy he knew and loved would never be happy in the dark.  
  
Besides that, he could tell that she was human, and figured someone would figure it out eventually and tell her; better sooner than later.  
  
Kneeling beside her chair, Spike tentatively placed a soothing hand on her back. She jerked automatically, but allowed him to try and settle her down, rubbing her back comfortingly.  
  
When he figured she was calm enough to listen, he removed his hand from her back, placing it gently on her chin and raising her head. Buffy looked up at him, eyes full of unshed tears.  
  
He tenderly took her face in his hands, ensuring that she was paying attention. "Buffy, listen to me. You're human, ok? I don't know what's up with the chip, but I know that you're human."  
  
"How?" she whispered, begging for reassurance.  
  
Spike gave her a gentle smile. "Hey, luv, vampire here. Humans are our natural prey, remember? We know that kind of thing."  
  
Buffy nodded slowly. He would know... but then... "So maybe your chip _did_ suddenly stop working."  
  
Spike shrugged. "Guess it's possible."  
  
Buffy buried her face in her hands again. '_I can't do this, not again. It's too much...' _After another moment of silence, she commanded, "Get out."  
  
Taken aback by the apparent non-sequitar, Spike could only splutter, "What?!"  
  
She raised her tear streaked face to look at him. "Get out of town. Go anywhere... well, not LA... but anywhere else. Just leave. Tonight."  
  
Spike sat back, dumbfounded. '_What the bloody hell is she goin' on about, tryin' to make me leave?... and does she think I'm gonna leave her so easily, like the others?'_  
  
"Buffy, I'm not gonna leave you like those other stupid gits, don't even try," he floundered, completely bewildered as to what was going on.  
  
"Please!" she begged.  
  
Spike was shocked, and still very confused. "I don't get it! Why do you want me to leave, all of a sudden?"  
  
"Because I can't do it again!"  
  
Spike tried to remain patient, even as his frustration mounted. "Do what?!"  
  
"Kill someone I... care about," she finished quietly.  
  
Spike's heart leapt as he realized she was admitting to caring about him. Then it sank back down as he figured out that she was thinking about killing him._ 'Thinks I'm gonna go all Angelus on her_.'  
  
"You're not gonna hafta kill me, luv."  
  
She started to protest, but Spike stopped her, gently placing a finger on her lips. "First off, we're not sure that the chip isn't working. It could just be... a fluke or something. Even if the chip _isn't_ working, I wouldn't feed! Not now, not after everything..."  
  
She shook her head violently. "Last time I waited, Jenny Calendar - along with who knows how many others! - died. I can't - I _won't_ let that happen again!"  
  
Spike sat back and thought about it. '_You bleedin' git, Peaches, messin' my life up even when you're not here!'  
  
_"Luv, look... if the chip really isn't working, and if you can't trust me... then..."  
  
"Then what?" she hopelessly implored him.  
  
Exasperated, Spike ran his hands through his hair as he paced. "Then we'll figure out something! Maybe Red and Glinda could cast some kinda spell which wouldn't let me hurt humans..."  
  
Seeing Buffy's skeptical look - and realizing that if such a spell did exist, they would have probably used it before now- Spike tried to think up other ways out of this.  
  
He suddenly spun around to face Buffy. "We'll get the chip repaired!"  
  
She stared at him, dumbstruck. "What?!"  
  
"We'll get it repaired, fixed. I know th' Initiative isn't still around, but we could find out who would know how to fix it. Red could do a little of her magic with her computer, or someone could ask Captain Cardboard-"  
  
Buffy held up her hand, getting him to stop. "Hold on a second, you're saying that if the chip isn't working, you'd be willing to get it fixed??"  
  
Spike looked at her. "Well, yeah," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"I thought you hated having the chip."  
  
"Of course I do." He sighed, realizing that - once again - she just didn't get it. "Luv, haven't you realized yet that I'd do anything, and I mean _anything_, to be able to stay here, be with you and the Nibblet? If that means that I hafta get the chip repaired then that's what I'll do."  
  
"I see... So, first we should find out if the chip is still really working. If it is, great, if not... um... I guess I'll hafta keep an eye on you till it gets fixed."  
  
Deciding to try one last time, Spike stepped closer to her, earnestly reminding her, "I'm not him, pet. I'm not gonna hurt anyone. I understand that you have trouble believing me, but..."  
  
Buffy looked at him, saw how serious he was. She wanted so badly to believe him but... "I can't, Spike. I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk again."  
  
He stepped back, resigned, nodding that he understood.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Spike said, "Well, then. Off we go, to your place. I'll take the sewers, you can-"  
  
"I'm coming with you," Buffy stated, making clear there was no room for argument.  
  
Spike didn't even bother to try to reason with her, just nodded his head, indicating for her to follow him.  
  
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A/N: Please review! It keeps me writing.


	3. Casa Summers

Chapter 3: Casa Summers  
  
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Buffy jerked the door open as Spike, blanket over his head, came flaming inside.  
  
Once they were both safely inside - and all the flames had been extinguished - there was a moment of deliberation.  
  
Now what, pet?  
  
Now... we eat! I'm starving.  
  
Spike followed her into the kitchen, hoping that they'd have some blood around. Luckily for him, they did, so he heated that up in the microwave as Buffy made a sandwich for herself.  
  
Remembering that it was a Saturday, so Dawn should be around, Buffy called out, Dawn! You here? Want a sandwich?  
  
I'm right here, Buffy, Dawn muttered, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she walked into the kitchen. Why are you up so early? And - why is Spike here?  
  
Spike swallowed his mouthful and said, Hey, Nibblet, you just get up?  
  
she yawned. Oh, Buffy, wanna make me a sandwich, too?  
  
Buffy nodded, feeling very pleased to be able to do something as normal as make a sandwich for her little sister - even if the sandwich _was_ salami and peanut butter.  
  
Once they started eating, Buffy explained what had been going on to Dawn. She left out what had happened last night, just telling her little sister about the chip.  
  
Dawn squealed, excited at the prospect of being able to help out. Hit me, hit me!  
  
Buffy sternly told her,   
  
Dawn pouted. Why not?  
  
Spike answered before Buffy got a chance. Because, Bit, first of all I won't hit you, and second of all, you could be another exception. Kinda like with Buffy - you're human, but didn't come about it in the usual way.  
  
Dawn subsided unhappily. _Why does he always have to be right? It's so annoying!' _Yeah, fine... but can I help with the research? If there is any research?  
  
We'll see, Buffy told her.  
  
Dawn waited till Spike had already gone into the living room to talk to her sister privately. Why does it matter, anyway? Dawn finally asked her sister.  
  
Why does what matter, Dawnie?  
  
Why does it matter if his chip doesn't work? It's not like he's gonna hurt anyone.  
  
Buffy sighed. It's complicated.  
  
No, Buffy, it's not, her sister corrected her. You're just scared cause of what happened with Angel... Angelus... that whole deal. But Spike is still Spike. Angel lost his humanity; Spike just lost a little bit of metal. Maybe.  
  
Buffy looked at her sister, surprised by her insights. When did you get to be so smart?  
  
Looking at her older sister seriously, Dawn told her, First of all, it's totally obvious. Plus... I've had to grow up a lot in the past year.... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get dressed and head over to Janice's house to study.  
  
Buffy was about to add a warning, but Dawn cut her off. And yeah, I'll be back before sunset. With that, she took off upstairs, presumably to get ready.  
  
Buffy plopped down in a chair next to Spike in the family room, where he had turned on Passions.  
  
Did you -  
  
Yeah, pet, I heard.  
  
When did my baby sister grow up? How did I miss it?  
  
Some of it happened with the whole Glory situation, I bet, and with your mum. A lot of it was after you... Spike cut off, obviously unable to voice those words. Clearing his throat, he continued. And some since you got back. She's had to deal with a lotta shit over the past year, and she's done really well. Dawn's an amazing girl, Buffy, she really is. He decided not to mention that Dawn was right: Buffy's motives for not trusting him were rather transparent.  
  
I... I didn't realize you were so close with her.  
  
Yeah, well... Spike looked away. We bonded a lot... over the summer.  
  
Buffy said quietly, hearing his unspoken words: when you were dead.'  
  
But you haven't come to see her lately, Spike... have you?  
  
Again he glanced at her and then away. Coupla times, when you were out. She's come to visit me - only during the day, of course. That ok with you?  
  
Um... yeah. Yeah, it's fine, as long as she only goes to see you during the day, and I know where she is... and after we get this chip business straightened out... Spike, I.... well, I'm sorry that I can't trust you. I mean...  
  
S'all right, pet, I know what you mean.  
  
You usually do, Buffy murmured, just loud enough for his sensitive vampire hearing.  
  
They sat there for another moment, quiet and still.  
  
Abruptly, Buffy jumped up. Well, I'm gonna go shower. You can, uh, stay here and watch TV or whatever.  
  
Sure, luv. Wouldn't want to miss Passions.  
  
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Buffy came down half an hour later, running her hands through her still-wet hair. She'd expected to find Spike sprawled in front of the TV; instead, she found Dawn and him in the dining room, laughing as they talked something over.  
  
She listened to their bantering for a bit before entering. They were so at ease together; she almost envied them. But they were able to be that comfortable because neither of them closed themselves off from the other, because they were open and trusting of one another... which meant that if Buffy wanted that kind of closeness, she'd have to open herself up like that. The thought was frightening; she'd been building her emotional walls ever since Angel, and they weren't going to come down very easily.  
  
To her surprise, neither Dawn nor Spike seemed to notice her when she walked in. After a moment, she realized, _I'm so self-centered. The universe doesn't revolve around you and your issues, Buffy! _  
  
Chagrined, she quietly walked over and sat down at the table with Spike and Dawn.  
  
After another minute or so, they wrapped up their conversation. Spike turned to include her.  
  
So what now, pet?  
  
Um, I dunno... Dawnie, you gonna be sticking around? I thought you were going over to Janice's.  
  
Her little sister shrugged. Nah, I decided to hang out with Spike instead. He's a lot cooler than her, anyway. Of course, I invited him to come with, but...  
  
Spike groaned and Dawn laughed. Seeing Buffy's confused expression, Dawn explained. She came over last summer and met him, and went psycho! Ugh, she wouldn't stop talking about him for hours!  
  
And the little gal was hangin' all over me, flirtin' like crazy. I had quite a time tryin' to get her off of me. specially since th' Nibblet wasn't helpin', he turned to mock glare at her.  
  
What? It was hilarious!  
  
Yeah, for you!  
  
Buffy was startled to feel a jolt of jealousy bolt through her at hearing about Janice flirting with Spike. She shook the emotion off. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, she said, Well, I'm gonna call a Scooby meeting for this evening.  
  
You really sure that's necessary, luv?  
  
Yeah, I think it is. If your chip is working, then I wanna know what's wrong with me; if not, then, well... we need to work on that.  
  
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A/N: Thanks for the reviews, always appreciated - keeps me writing!


	4. Scoob Central

Chapter 4: Scoob Central  
  
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_....That evening, at the Magic Box...._  
  
The bell jingled as Giles entered.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, got caught up in some research... ah, since we're all here, let's proceed. Buffy, why don't you tell us why we're here?  
  
Buffy nervously stood up from where she'd been sitting at the table with the rest of the group.  
  
"Ok, here's the deal. First of all, don't wig."  
  
"Not too reassuring there, Buff," Xander groused.  
  
All the Scoobies were both curious and worried, since Buffy had decided to wait until everyone was present to explain.  
  
"Just listen, ok? I was talking with Spike this morning, and, well, we got into a fight, I hit him, he hit me back... and there was no pain."  
  
Mutterings and a few startled gasps arose from the group. Xander was clearly going to yell and try to attack Spike, but thankfully Anya was able to restrain him.  
  
Raising her voice to be heard, Buffy continued, "Now, we're not certain if this is because his chip suddenly stopped working, or, well... if maybe I came back wrong."  
  
A loud chorus of denials resounded from the group, especially from those who'd been involved in her resurrection.  
  
Spike spoke up for the first time since he'd arrived. "She's definitely human, don't get yourselves all worked up. But still, there was a lotta powerful magic used to bring 'er back, and maybe that's confusin' the chip."  
  
Before any more chaos could ensue, Giles firmly recommended, "Why doesn't Spike try hitting someone else, first, before we go any further down this path."  
  
"You offerin', Watcher?"  
  
"Oh, bloody hell, all right then," the Watcher cursed, starting to put away his glasses.  
  
Anya poked Xander.  
  
"What?" he asked, annoyed, and rubbing his shoulder.  
  
"Xander! You should volunteer!"  
  
"What? Me?! Why?"  
  
"Well, you've been so mean to Spike, he deserves to hit you!"  
  
Spike smirked. "Thanks, pet."  
  
Anya continued, "And besides, Giles shouldn't be hit! He's _old!_"  
  
Giles raised his eyebrows. "Oh, thanks ever so," he said sarcastically. "All the same, I would appreciate it if you would do the honors, Xander."  
  
"Fine! Doesn't look like I have a whole lotta choice... come on, Spike, gimme your best shot."  
  
Everyone watched with trepidation as Spike headed over to Xander, whose face was all scrunched up, waiting for the pain.  
  
Spike drew back his arm, and punched Xander in the face, hard enough so the man staggered.  
  
"OWW!" Xander yelled.  
  
But he was the only one in pain.  
  
For a split second, Spike considered pretending the chip fired, before deciding against it. It would be a difficult ruse to maintain, since the chip went off if he so much as accidentally jarred a human, and Buffy would definitely stake him for sure if she figured it out.  
  
All eyes were on Spike. He shrugged. "Nope, nothin'. Maybe I should try again," he said with a wicked expression, heading towards Xander again, who rapidly backed away. Buffy stepped in between them, and Spike raised his hands in surrender.  
  
"Just kiddin', pet... Though I think I do deserve a few more hits to the Whelp."  
  
"I agree," Anya piped up.  
  
"Ahn! You're supposed to be on my side!" Xander wailed.  
  
"I am, sweetie," she assured him. "But I wasa vengeance - ah, _justice_ - demon for a thousand years. Wanting justice is natural for me!"  
  
The rest of the gang ignored the squabbling couple.  
  
"Now what?" asked Giles heavily.  
  
"Wait a sec!" Xander interjected loudly. "Why don't we just stake the jerk?"  
  
All of the girls glared at him. The Slayer growled, "Because he's been very useful to us for the past several years, and one of the best slaying partners I've ever had, that's why!"  
  
Knowing he didn't have a chance on this one, Xander quieted down, grumbling a bit under his breath.  
  
Spike grinned quietly at Buffy's compliment, although he'd like to be more than 'useful' to her.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "Ahem, well, as I was saying, what course of action do we take now?"  
  
"Well, Spike had a few ideas...." Buffy said, motioning him to speak.  
  
"First off, I know it's a long shot, but I don't s'pose you lovely Wiccas know of a spell to prevent someone from harming humans?"  
  
Both girls shook their heads, although Willow was frowning thoughtfully.  
  
"Bugger. Thought so. Anyway, my other thought was that we try to track down one of the docs who worked for th' Initiative, get him to fix my chip."  
  
Everyone was just as startled at his suggestion as Buffy had been that morning.  
  
"You'd really be willing to get the chip repaired?" Giles asked, surprised.  
  
"Bloody hell!" Spike rolled his eyes, exasperated at being asked this yet again. "I don't love the bleedin' thing, but havin' it beats bein' staked!"  
  
Giles nodded, seeing the vampire's point. "So, our first priority then is going to be finding an Initiative doctor. Willow, perhaps you could - Willow?" he repeated, upon finding that she wasn't listening. "Willow!"  
  
"Hmm? Oh! Oh, what? Sorry, Giles, I just thought of a spell."  
  
Everyone groaned except Tara.  
  
"Hey! Anyway, honey, didn't you once mention some kind of binding promise spell?" she asked her lover.  
  
"Y-yes, I saw that somewhere... but it's rarely used."  
  
"Why's that?" Giles asked.  
  
"Well... I don't remember all the conditions exactly... hang on, I think I know where the spell is."  
  
The gang waited quietly while Tara searched for the spell.  
  
"Oh, here it is... let's see... Well, first of all the spell can only be used on demons.... They must speak the words of the binding promise of their own free will, which probably explains why it doesn't get used that often. Oh, and there's a note here to be very wary about the wording of the promise - not surprising, wording is often taken literally with magic... also, the spell is apparently bound with the lives of the spellcasters. There can be anywhere between two to six spellcasters; when they're all dead, the spell is broken."  
  
"Sounds feasible. Is it very difficult?" the Watcher wondered.  
  
"Ah... no, nothing we can't handle... though it does require a few rather rare spell components."  
  
"Still, sounds a good deal better than trying to track down some doctors from the Initiative. Good idea, Willow." She beamed as Giles continued. "Besides, even if they could fix the chip, there would still be the danger of it failing again."  
  
"Well, the spell will fail when the spellcasters all die, and sincewe're mortal, and Spike's not, that could be a problem," Tara pointed out.  
  
"Hmmm..." Giles frowned thoughtfully.  
  
"Oh!" Willow exclaimed. "Oh... I just had a really bad idea..." Seeing everyone was looking at her, she explained. "Well, I was thinking that maybe some demons could be spellcasters?"  
  
"They would likely have to be willing as well," the Watcher said.  
  
"Um, well, I was kinda thinking some, you know, good demons... like, well, Angel..." she trailed off apologetically, glancing at Buffy.  
  
Seeing how uncomfortable Buffy was with the idea - and not being terribly fond of it himself - Spike suggested another possibility. "Or Clem could do it. I could probably find a few other old friends to help out... although, strike that, no one else I could trust."  
  
After some further discussion, it was decided that it would be safer to have more long-lived demons involved. Someone would go try and get Angel, and see if he had any recommendations for anyone else they could trust.  
  
The question being hotly debated was who would persuade Angel. Xander, Buffy, and Spike definitely counted themselves out, and Tara and Anya didn't even know Angel. That left Willow or Giles.  
  
It was eventually decided that Giles would go, since Willow insisted that she stay there and research what all the spell entailed.  
  
The Scoobies saw Giles off before returning to work. The prospect of seeing Angel again elicited mixed feelings from the group.  
  
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**  
A/N**: Ok, you know what to do! Please do review - I'm gettin' a tad discouraged by the lack of reviews... thanks bunches to those of you who have reviewed!


	5. Surprises and Singing

Chapter 5: Surprises and Singing  
  
_Bloody hell, why do I always get stuck with these sorts of things? Suppose it's a Watcher's duty...' _Giles thought to himself as he left the Magic Box.  
  
Finally, late evening, Giles arrived at the Hyperion. Walking in, he was surprised to see an unfamiliar face. A young girl, glasses, brunette, was behind the front desk, engrossed in reading something. _Humph. Probably their secretary, reading Cosmo,' _ Giles thought, annoyed.  
  
Giles cleared his throat.  
  
The girl jumped, nearly shrieking. Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you... or hear you, I was kind of caught up in my reading she said, gesturing to the magazine she'd been reading- a very advanced scientific magazine, much to Giles' surprise.  
  
The mysterious girl continued Um, so, this is Angel Investigations, we help the helpless, what can we do for you? she said rapidly, clearly having memorized the cliché line.  
  
I'm an old... acquaintance... of Angel's, I was hoping to speak with him. Is he here?  
  
Um, no, I'm afraid he's out on a mission with some of the others... he should be back, well, some time, it's a tad difficult to estimate exactly when...  
  
Very well, I suppose I'll wait here for him, if that's all right.  
  
Oh, sure, that's just fine. You're British, right? Would you like some tea? I could get Wesley - he's British, too - to make some for you.  
  
Wesley? Not Wesley Wyndham-Pryce?  
  
Yeah, that's him! You know him? Huh, small world I guess, she giggled, a tad nervously.  
  
We were fellow Watchers, he informed the girl. Please pardon my lack of manners - my name is Rupert Giles.  
  
He paused, waiting for the girl to provide her name. It took her a moment, but when she realized he was waiting for her to speak, she exclaimed, Oh! Oh, sorry, my name's Fred. Well, Winifred, but everyone calls me Fred. Would you like me to go get Wesley?  
  
Certainly, uh, Fred, I'd appreciate that.  
  
Ok, wait just a minute then, I think he's... her voice trailed off as she disappeared into an office behind her.  
  
Well well well, what have we here? came a voice from behind Giles.  
  
He spun around to see a green demon entering the building, and immediately dropped into a defensive stance, drawing out a stake. Admittedly, the demon didn't look very threatening in his bright orange and yellow suit, but Giles had learned not to take chances.  
  
Oh, come on, muffin, I'm not gonna hurt you! the green demon protested, looking hurt.  
  
You'll excuse me if I choose not to believe you.  
  
Um, Rupert... came Wesley's voice from behind them.  
  
Giles turned, carefully keeping one eye on the demon. Is he safe, Wesley?  
  
What? Oh, yes, certainly. Lorne, this is Rupert Giles, and Rupert Giles, Lorne.  
  
With Wesley's assurance, Giles relaxed and tentatively shook the green demon's hand.  
  
So, Lorne, what are you doing here today? Wesley asked.  
  
Lorne had just begun to explain when another voice said, Hey, Giles!  
  
he turned and stared at her in amazement. What on earth was that girl doing here?  
  
  
  
I think I need to sit down, Giles muttered faintly.  
  
Just as he was doing so, the front door burst open, and in tumbled Angel and a black man whom Giles did not recognize. Both of them were covered in green demon goo.  
  
The stranger whooped. Oh man, we had a wild fight out there tonight! Shoulda been there, Wes, much more fun than research.  
  
Giles looked at Wesley, startled at the idea that someone actually _wanted _him with them in a battle. Wesley noticed Giles skeptical expression, and gave a shrug and a small smile. I've changed.  
  
Yes, so I see, Giles murmured, observing his former acquaintance's altered appearance.  
  
The two new arrivals now noticed the stranger in their midst.  
  
Giles! Uh, this is a surprise... Oh no, is something wrong in Sunnydale? Buffy? Angel asked worriedly.  
  
Buffy's fine, Angel. There is something we could use your help with, but the matter's not urgent. Perhaps you should go get cleaned up before we talk, Giles suggested, starting to feel nauseous at the fumes coming from the goo.  
  
Yeah, we'll go do that, Angel replied, and turned towards the stairs.  
  
Hey now! Someone gonna introduce me?  
  
Oh, yes, sorry Gunn, Wesley stepped in. Gunn, this is Rupert Giles, Buffy's Watcher. Giles, this is Charles Gunn. He works with us.  
  
Kicks some demon butt with you, you mean! Gunn laughed.  
  
Ugh, Gunn! Go clean up, you smell, Cordelia commanded with all her usual tact.  
  
Yes, ma'am! he mocked as he headed to do just that.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Several hours later, Giles had tried to explain the situation to Angel and his friends. First, Angel didn't see a reason why Spike shouldn't just be staked. Cordelia was with him on that point, remembering how badly Spike had tortured Angel for the Gem of Amara a few years back.  
  
Giles tried to explain it as Buffy had, but neither seemed to want to hear it. Also, Angel refused to believe that Spike would voluntarily give up his ability to kill humans. He insisted Giles must be under some sort of thrall or spell. The Watcher was getting quite fed up with Angel's attitude, and was starting to lose his temper. Ripper was going to burst out any second now, he just knew it.  
  
Lorne, ever the peacemaker, stepped in. Hey now, kiddies, there's a real easy way to solve this lil' problem of yours. He turned to Giles.   
  
I-I beg your pardon? Giles stuttered, confused.  
  
Wesley explained about Lorne's unusual capabilities, and added, Just a few bars will do, in case Giles sounded anything like Angel.  
  
I see, Giles said. Umm... what should I sing?  
  
Anything you like, my dumpling, anything you like.  
  
Um, all right then...  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
No one knows what it's like  
To be hated...  
To be fated...  
But my dreams, they are as empty, as my conscience seems to be...  
_(...Sung by Giles in Where the Wild Things Are...)  
  
_ Was that enough? Giles asked Lorne. He'd been looking off into the distance as he sang, but he now noticed the whole group was looking at him, surprised.  
  
Listen, pumpkin nut, you ever wanna take up singing for real, lemme know,   
  
Uh, thank you, Giles murmured, embarrassed, as he cleaned his glasses. Clearing his throat, he continued. Well, what did you see? he asked Lorne.  
  
Let's go talk in here. Lorne dragged Giles into the nearby office.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Lorne and Giles reappeared several minutes later, Giles looking rather thoughtful.  
  
Angel demanded impatiently.  
  
Hm? Oh, he's on the up-and-up, all right, Lorne assured him. Can't wait to get that Spike to sing for me.  
  
Very well. Shall we leave tonight, or wait till tomorrow night? Wesley asked.  
  
I was only expecting Angel... Giles trailed off. But I suppose anyone who wishes to come is welcome, he finished.  
  
Sunrise is coming. We should probably get some sleep, and head to Sunnydale this evening, Angel suggested. He still didn't believe Giles, but wanted to go to Sunnydale and see matters for himself.  
  
The group agreed, and Giles went to let the Scoobies know when to expect them.  
  
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A/N: Please review! Thanks bunches to those of you who have.


	6. A HouseVamp

Chapter 6: A House-Vamp  
  
------------------------------------  
_....at the end of the last chapter..._  
  
"Sunrise is coming. We should probably get some sleep, and head to Sunnydale this evening," Angel suggested. He still didn't believe Giles, but wanted to go to Sunnydale and see matters for himself.  
  
The group agreed, and Giles went to let the Scoobies know when to expect them.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
" 'ello?" Buffy's bleary voice answered the phone.  
  
"Oh, ah, Buffy, sorry to have woken you. Angel and a few of his coworkers will be arriving with me tonight. Could you please inform the others?" Giles asked politely.  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
::Click!::  
  
"Hm, she hung up. Ah well, time for me to catch some sleep," Giles muttered to himself.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
_...Several hours later....  
  
" _Slayer! Would you wake the bloody hell up?!" an annoying voice interrupted her sleep.  
  
"Wha-? 'm sleepin'..."  
  
"Come on, Slayer, I'm bored!" the voice whined.  
  
Buffy heaved a sigh as she reluctantly rolled out of her warm, cozy bed.  
  
"Stupid vampire. Aren't you supposed to sleep during the day?" she asked snottily as she walked into Dawn's bedroom, where her 'guest' had been chained up. Dawn had stayed overnight with Xander and Anya.  
  
"Yeah, well, I never do anythin' I'm supposed to." Spike grinned cheekily at her. He thought she looked adorable, with her bed-head hair and rumpled clothing.  
  
"Y'know, that's not actually a good thing," Buffy groused as she unlocked the chains holding him to the bed.  
  
"Is to me!" Spike laughed, jumping up out of the bed. He hated being confined; his normal hyperactivity usually had him moving around constantly.  
  
"I'm gonna go heat up some blood downstairs," Spike told Buffy. Noticing her tired expression, he said more gently, "Why don't you go get some more sleep."  
  
Stubborn as always, Buffy shook her head, feeling she had to watch her charge whenever he wasn't locked up.  
  
"Buffy, nobody else is home! What, you think I'm gonna go runnin' out into broad daylight to grab someone?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Spike, you go out into the daylight all the time."  
  
"Fine, you wanna take all the blankets in the house so I can't leave?" he asked impatiently.  
  
Buffy eyed him suspiciously. "Promise you won't leave the house?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
A few more tense seconds passed before Buffy nodded decisively. " 'k, I'm gonna head back to bed. Clean up after yourself in the kitchen."  
  
"What do ya think I am, domesticated or somethin'?" Spike protested.  
  
Buffy just raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. "Yeah," she threw over her shoulder as she went back to bed.  
  
Muttering curses, Spike headed downstairs.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Buffy slept for another hour or so. Yawning, she got up to take a shower before eating. When she got downstairs, she was amazed to find a plate of eggs and hash browns sitting in her place, along with a glass of orange juice.  
  
Hearing the tv in the other room, she went to confront Spike, holding the plate in her hand.  
  
"What is this?" Buffy asked, brandishing the plate.  
  
"Uh, eggs and hash browns... somethin' wrong with 'em? Not cold, are they?"  
  
"No, it's just... I was just surprised, that's all..."  
  
"Yeah, well, I figured a hungry Slayer is a grumpy Slayer," Spike told her casually, obviously trying not to make a big deal of it.  
  
For a vampire who claimed he wasn't domesticated, he sure knew his way around the kitchen. But Buffy kept that thought to herself, hoping she'd get to enjoy more food from him in the future.  
  
"Well, uh... thanks, Spike," she choked out before racing back to the kitchen.  
  
"Anytime," he murmured, too quietly to be heard. He knew he was domesticated, housebroken, tamed - but for _her _ it was more than worth it.  
  
'_Yeah, I'm still Love's Bitch, all right..._'  
  
------------------------------------  
  
After Buffy had finished breakfast and cleaned up, she puttered about in the kitchen for a little longer than necessary. Dawn would be at school still, and Willow and Tara were either in class or at the Magic Box, probably. That left her alone with Spike for several more hours.  
  
With nothing else to do, she wandered into the family room. There she found Spike - who'd been so insistent he couldn't sleep any more this morning - asleep on the sofa.  
  
The first thing she noticed was a line of sunlight, slowly creeping toward him as the day went on. He'd accidentally left some curtains open.  
  
'_Stupid vampire,'_ she thought as she jerked the curtains closed. '_Surprised he hasn't accidentally dusted himself before this!'_  
  
Buffy paused, thinking back to the time when he'd wanted to take his own unlife. At the time, she'd really hadn't cared that much. But things change so quickly... that was, what, only two or three years ago? And now, a life without Spike in it sounded.... very dull, she decided. It wasn't that she _liked _him or anything, but he did make things more interesting, that was all. Really.  
  
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A/N: Thanks once more for the reviews, they really help with the writing. I wish I could e-mail you individually and respond, but unfortunately I can't see the e-mail addresses, even of those who've signed in! All I see is a little question mark. Grrr, argh.  
  
Sorry this is short. I don't have the next part written yet, but hopefully it'll be up within a few days.


	7. Tara

Chapter 7: Tara  
  
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Spike woke when the front door slammed shut. Disoriented, he sat upright and looked around him.  
  
"Wha'?"  
  
"Oh! Hey, Spike, s-sorry for waking you, it's just me."  
  
"Oh... 'ello, Tara, good mornin'."  
  
She laughed. "More like good afternoon. Hang on, lemme go set my stuff down. I'll be right back."  
  
Tara nearly ran into Buffy, who was racing down the stairs.  
  
"Buffy! Is something wrong?"  
  
"Did I hear Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, I woke him up..." Tara trailed off as Buffy pushed on past her. '_Hmmm... wonder what that's about...'  
  
_After putting her things away, Tara came back down to the sounds of an argument.  
  
"... bloody hell, Buffy! You thought I was gonna eat the wicca?!"  
  
"I told you, I can't -"  
  
Their squabbling stopped as they saw Tara enter the room.  
  
"Umm... hey, guys," she said uncomfortably, feeling the heavy tension in the room.  
  
"Hey, Tara, sorry 'bout this," Buffy said.  
  
"It's ok, B-Buffy, really... but..." she took a deep breath, gathering up her courage, and looking Buffy right in the eye. "I d-don't think he would hurt me."  
  
Spike's head shot up sharply and he eyed the witch for a moment, as if unable to believe what he'd heard. Tara had expected him to perhaps insist that he was still evil, or gloat to Buffy ('see, _she _ trusts me!'); however, he did neither. Instead, he softly smiled and said sincerely, "Thanks, Glinda. Means a lot."  
  
She smiled back. "You're welcome."  
  
Buffy was flabbergasted. She wasn't even certain that 'flabbergasted' was a real word (it sounded like a Willow word), but that's definitely what she was. She had absolutely no clue how to respond to Tara's statement.  
  
Thankfully, the Wicca seemed to sense this. "I'm a little hungry. Spike, want to come get a snack with me?"  
  
Another real smile. "Sure thing, luv."  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Buffy slowly wandered out to get the mail, needing some time to think.  
  
Had she really expected to come downstairs and find Spike chewing on Tara? No, not really. Rationally, she was aware that was unlikely - disregarding whether Spike would eat people if given the choice, he wouldn't eat someone while she was near, he just wasn't that stupid. On the other hand, she was terrified of a repeat of Angelus. The Slayer had had a chance to kill Angelus, but she'd hesitated. That hesitation had led to so many deaths... not the least of which was Jenny Calendar's.  
  
But there was a difference between then and now. Well, there were a multitude of differences. One, however, was that back then she had _known_ that Angelus was killing and would continue to do so. In this instance, with Spike, it was only that she thought he _might_ murder. Now, there was at least a chance that he wouldn't... right? And she hadn't been lying when she told Spike that she _wanted _ to believe and trust him.  
  
With Angelus, Buffy had too many emotions affecting her to make good decisions. She would firmly deny that she had any sort of positive emotions whatsoever with regards to Spike; however, a very small part of her admitted that wasn't true. She didn't love him - oh, no, her psyche was quick to shy away from that dreaded word - but she did feel _something_ for him. What if that something was affecting her better judgment?  
  
On the other hand - and how many hands was she up to by now? - Tara had expressed trust in Spike, at least with regards to herself, and if there was anyone Buffy knew with good judgment, it was Tara.  
  
'_Argh! This is driving me insane! I can't wait till we get that spell done. Then I won't have to worry about this.'  
  
_As long as she could keep putting off making a real decision as to whether she trusted Spike, she'd be fine. Really.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
When Buffy came back inside, she heard Tara... giggling? No, that couldn't be right, Tara wasn't really a giggler, except maybe with Willow.  
  
But as she peeked into the kitchen, Buffy saw that she'd been right the first time - Tara was giggling. No, actually, she was full out laughing, laughing so hard that tears were coming to her eyes.  
  
"... so then Dru said, "It's the cucumbers!"  
  
Spike was grinning, enjoying his time with the girl. He hadn't had much of a chance to be with her, except occasionally after Buffy's death, and he'd hardly been in a joking mood, then.  
  
He spotted Buffy, and the grin fell away from his face. "Any interestin' mail, pet?"  
  
As Tara became aware of Buffy's presence, she, too, straightened up and attempted to control her giggles.  
  
Buffy suddenly realized she hated the effect she had on them. Why couldn't she be sitting, laughing with her friends? It wasn't fair!  
  
'_Yeah, but it's your fault_,' she bitterly reminded herself. '_Maybe if you let yourself see Spike as at least a friend..._ _but no, he's right, you just use him as a body to tell all your problems to... my God, what the hell is wrong with me? I can't stand my friends, and only want to be near my mortal enemy, who I say I can't stand!_'  
  
Tara and Spike exchanged puzzled glances as Buffy didn't answer; instead, she seemed to be thinking about something, and had a very confused and distressed look on her face.  
  
"Um, Buffy?" Tara said softly. "You ok?"  
  
After another moment, Buffy looked up at the two.  
  
"No!" she choked out with a sob. Before either could react, she'd turned tail and fled up to her room, leaving the mail scattered on the floor behind her.  
  
"Stay here," Tara told Spike as she raced after Buffy.  
  
Tara slowed as she neared Buffy's bedroom. The door was shut, and she could hear sobbing coming from within. She knocked lightly, and, when no answer was forthcoming, slowly opened the door.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
The Slayer didn't respond. Tara gingerly sat next to the weeping Slayer, who had curled herself into a ball. Gently, Tara stroked Buffy's long hair, crooning to the girl in an attempt to calm her. Tara's presence soon soothed Buffy, and her cries died down.  
  
"Buffy?" Tara whispered. "Can you talk to me?"  
  
At first, the Slayer shook her head, but then changed her mind. Buffy kept her face in her pillow, muffling her voice so much as to make her almost unintelligible. "I... I'm wrong! So wrong, oh Tara, I'm so wrong..."  
  
"Shhh, shh, Buffy, it's ok, you're not wrong. You're human, we know that, the spell went fine."  
  
"No! Something's wrong. I _feel _ wrong, I can't stand it here, I have nightmares -"  
  
"Buffy, listen, I think there's a fairly simple psychological explanation for all of this. It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's no wonder you're suffering from it after being t-t-tormented in h-hell!"  
  
"You don't understand!" Buffy wailed.  
  
"What don't I understand?"  
  
Buffy remained silent.  
  
"Tell her, Slayer," Spike demanded in a hard voice.  
  
Tara looked up at him. Not surprisingly, he hadn't listened to her earlier when she asked him to stay put.  
  
Spike repeated himself. "Buffy, tell her! Either you tell her, or I will," he threatened.  
  
Buffy sat up and looked up at him, defiance written on her tear-streaked face. Her stubbornness lasted only a moment before fading away, to be replaced with a very weary expression.  
  
"Fine," she acquiesced. "I will."  
  
Spike looked doubtful  
  
"I _ will_ " she repeated more firmly. "But... could you go downstairs or something?"  
  
Reluctantly, Spike nodded. He left, shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Ok, Buffy, take some deep breaths," Tara encouraged her, handing over some tissues. Buffy did so, and mopped up her tears with the tissues.  
  
Tara continued, "Good, that's right... now, do you think you can tell me what Spike was talking about?"  
  
The Slayer nodded. "I... oh God, this is hard." She looked down at her hands, wringing them nervously.  
  
"It's ok, Buffy, take your time."  
  
"I wasn't in hell."  
  
Tara tried to hide her surprise at this revelation. "Where were you, then?"  
  
"I... well, I don't know for sure. I mean, I don't know much about... about theology, or different dimensions, or-"  
  
"Buffy," Tara interrupted her nervous babbling. "Just tell me, please."  
  
"I... I think I was in...." she took a deep breath. "...in Heaven."  
  
It took a moment for that to sink in. Once it did... "Oh Goddess!!" Tara exclaimed, horrified. The knowledge of what they'd done... they hadn't saved her at all! No, they'd _ ripped _ her from Heaven!  
  
Now that she'd begun, Buffy let it all pour out. "Oh, Tara, I was finished! Complete. I knew everyone I loved was safe. I was warm, I was loved... and, now.... everything's harsh and cold... this, this is Hell. I live in Hell."  
  
Buffy broke down again.  
  
'_Oh Goddess, what have we done?' _Tara's mind shrieked. Her guilt threatened to overwhelm her. Ruthlessly, she shoved that down. Her priority right now had to be Buffy, not her own feelings.  
  
She took a few deep, slow breaths. "Let's talk, ok?"  
  
------------------------------------  
  
A half hour or so later, Tara came down to the living room where Spike had been pacing.  
  
"Well?" he demanded roughly, concerned  
  
"She told me... Oh, Goddess, she told me what we did..." Once again, Tara reminded herself sternly that her own guilt would have to wait. "I think she'll be all right. It's just going to take time, and the support of her friends and family."  
  
"She agree to tell them?"  
  
Sadly, Tara shook her head. "No, I couldn't convince her. She said maybe after we'd dealt with, um... your current status, she'd be willing to think about it. I think that's the best we'll get from her right now."  
  
"She still bawlin'?"  
  
"No, I put a minor sleep spell on her... from now on, I'll give her some special tea to help her sleep at night. She told me about the nightmares."  
  
Spike nodded. She'd mentioned those to him, as well.  
  
"Buffy also mentioned that... that you'd been a good f-friend to her since she came back... and that she's s-sorry she hasn't treated you better."  
  
Spike raised a scarred eyebrow at Tara. She wasn't very good with the deceiving. "I'm guessin' she didn't say that, exactly?"  
  
"N-not in so many words, no... but what she said was along those lines."  
  
Tara looked away from Spike. He knew she was still hiding something, but decided not to press her any more. She'd been a good friend to him so far, and hopefully would continue to be one. He could use all the allies he could get, especially with the impending meeting with Angel's group coming up.  
  
"I need to get back to the Magic Store, I promised Anya I'd help with some herb sorting. Call if you need anything."  
  
Spike nodded. "Will do, Glinda."  
  
Just as she was about to leave, Spike spoke again. "Thanks... for helpin' with her. It's... well, it's good not to be the only one who knows."  
  
Tara nodded, understanding what he meant. With a small smile and a wave, she headed off.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
**A/N: **Ta-dah! Another chapter. Sorry 'bout all the talking, but it's necessary.  
  
Up until now, I've been writing ahead of updating - i.e. when I've updated, I've already had the next chapter partly written or entirely written. But I'm at the end of my writing, currently, so the next chapter make take a little while... I'm going back to school in a few weeks, so everything will have to be done by then.  
  
And yes, Spike probably will sing for Lorne!  
  
Thank you all again for the reviews, they really inspire me to write! :o)


	8. Family Reunion

Chapter 8: Family Reunion  
  
Lacking anything to do, and realizing that wearing holes in the carpet with his pacing would probably not be helpful, Spike decided to make dinner for his girls. Dawn and the witches should be home soon, though he wasn't sure when Buffy would wake up.  
  
He let his mind wander to the problems at hand while he cooked. Spike was both looking forward to, and dreading, the impending reunion with his grandsire.  
  
The door slammed. "We're home!" Dawn yelled.  
  
"Dawnie, Tara said Buffy was sleeping!" Willow reprimanded her.  
  
"But it's dinner time! She should wake up anyway," Dawn whined.  
  
After a short whispered conference, Tara went up to check on Buffy, while Willow and Dawn headed into the kitchen.  
  
"Mmm! Smells good," Dawn sighed appreciatively. She tried to stick her finger in the sauce to get a taste, but Spike was too fast for her, and grabbed her hand.  
  
"Uh-uh, Nibblet, you'll just hafta wait till we eat."  
  
"But Spike!!" She tried, giving him her 'puppy dog eyes.'  
  
"Nope!"  
  
Willow laughed at their antics as they danced around the kitchen, Spike holding the pot with the sauce just out of Dawn's reach.  
  
A few minutes later, Tara came downstairs with a sleepy Buffy in tow.  
  
"Hey sis, sleep well?"  
  
"Hmm...? Oh... yeah... Spell, y'know."  
  
"Right..." Dawn muttered, frowning at her sister.  
  
"I-I think she's not quite awake yet," Tara explained.  
  
After a fairly restrained dinner, filled with small talk about their days, the group headed over to the Magic Box to await the arrival of Giles, Angel, and Angel's friends. Dawn was excited to be included with the rest of the Scoobies.  
  
The little bell jingled as they entered the store. Xander and Anya were already there.  
  
Xander jumped out of his chair as he saw Spike.  
  
"Hey! Keep him away from me!" Xander shouted.  
  
With an evil grin, Spike started prowling slowly towards the scared man.  
  
Xander yelped and tried to back away. He fell over his chair and ended up on the floor, scuttling backward on his hands and knees.  
  
Dawn burst out laughing at the sight, knowing her vampire was just playing with Xander. The witches were struggling to contain their giggles as well, while Anya and Buffy just rolled their eyes.  
  
"Xander! Get off the floor, you're going to ruin your new pants," Anya scolded.  
  
"But- but -" Xander protested as Spike went into game face, frightening him even further.  
  
Anya sighed. "Spike, would you stop scaring my fiancé?"  
  
"Ohhh, but it's such fun!" Spike gave an evil leer towards the man still on the floor.  
  
"Yes, well, my boyfriend happens to be a bit stupid and doesn't understand you're simply joking."  
  
"Hey!" Xander objected, now back on his feet. "I'm not stupid! There's an evil, unleashed, undead murderer in this room, and it's only sensible to be alert!"  
  
Anya gave another impatient sigh. "Xander, really. I don't know if Spike would truly go out and murder someone anyway, but he certainly wouldn't do so right in front of the Slayer, two witches, Dawn, and an ex-vengeance demon."  
  
Xander opened and closed his mouth, finding no answer to that. Finally, he muttered something about going downstairs to do inventory.  
  
Spike was about to begin mocking Xander as soon as he left the room; however, with his fiancée the ex-vengeance demon there, as well as the Slayer, he managed to refrain.  
  
"So, we know when the Poof is comin'?"  
  
"His name is _Angel_, and they'll probably be leaving L.A. around sundown, so sometime after that," Buffy said, fiddling with some stuff on a shelf, trying to hide her nervousness.  
  
Tara gently took the objects from her hands and put them back. "Buffy, perhaps you should be careful when you handle things in a magic store."  
  
Buffy gave her a sheepish grin. "Thanks, Tara, glad it was you and not Anya that caught me."  
  
Tara returned the smile. "Anytime. Listen.... you going to be all right with the impending reunion? Tensions are going to be high, from what I understand."  
  
Buffy took a shaky breath. "I don't know... it might be a bit much for me," she admitted.  
  
"If it does get to be too much, maybe you could leave the room for a bit? I'll make an excuse for you, if you like."  
  
"Thank you, Tara, that'd be great. I... I'm really glad I told you."  
  
"Me, too. Though I still think you should tell the others..."  
  
Buffy shook her head emphatically, and Tara let the subject lie.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
An hour later, Angel and co. showed up.  
  
Luckily for Anya and her precious store, Spike was outside 'havin' a fag' when Angel attacked him.  
  
The two rolled around viciously, taunting each other to a frenzy. Everyone was trying to get them to stop, but most were worried about getting in the way. Buffy tried to grab Spike from behind and stop him, but failed. Willow was planning on separating them magically, till Tara indicated she shouldn't.  
  
While normally fairly well-matched, Angel's knife gave him the upper hand. After a blow which stunned Spike, Angel pulled out a stake and went in for the kill.  
  
"NOOO!" Dawn cried, and leapt in between the two men.  
  
Angel saw her too late; the stake descended.  
  
For a few moments, time slowed, eyes opened wide in horror at the scene before them.  
  
But with his vamp reflexes, Angel was quick to pull the stake away from Dawn. She received a bad scratch on her shoulder, but other than that was perfectly fine.  
  
Dawn and Spike were rushed to the training room by Buffy and Tara, respectively. While they were being bandaged, Buffy spoke up.  
  
"Dawn, I can not believe you did that!!" she said sternly.  
  
"But-" Dawn protested.  
  
"Big sis is right, Bit."  
  
"But I was trying to save you!"  
  
"Yeah, I know, and I 'preciate the thought, pet, but it still was a dumb thing to do."  
  
"Well, I'd do it again anytime," Dawn stated stubbornly.  
  
Seeing that Buffy was losing her temper, Tara took her out to the main room, and let Spike deal with Dawn.  
  
"What if th' Poof hadn't been able to move away the stake in time, huh? What if you'd been killed?"  
  
"I don't care! I still would have done it, to save you!" Dawn shouted, angry at her surrogate big brother for seeming to reject her sacrifice on his behalf.  
  
"My unlife is hardly worth yours!"  
  
"Is to me," Dawn sniffled. Spike wrapped her in a hug as she continued. "I don't know what I'd do if you were gone, Spike... I don't think I can handle losing anyone else."  
  
"Shh, s'ok, Bit, it's all right... I'm not goin' anywhere, and even if I did, you'd be fine; you got plenty of people that love you."  
  
"Yeah, but they're not _you_!"  
  
"Platelet, listen here," Spike said sternly in his no-nonsense voice. "You are much too important to go risking your life on... on anything!! That's why Buffy doesn't want you to go on patrols, you know. It's not 'cause she doesn't care; just the opposite, in fact. And I'm the same - I don't want you gettin' hurt, not matter what."  
  
"But if I hadn't done that, you would be dust."  
  
"Nah, I'm pretty good at gettin' myself outta scrapes. Let me worry 'bout me, 'k, Sweet Bit?"  
  
Grudgingly, Dawn nodded. Spike pulled her in for another hug, then they both headed into the main room.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
....._Meanwhile....._  
  
Buffy and Tara walked out from the training room. Xander immediately counted heads and went hysterical.  
  
"You just left Dawn in there with a killer!"  
  
He expected them to recognize this fact with horror, and race into the other room to save her. But the girls just exchanged a glance and rolled their eyes. Even Buffy, with all her paranoia, knew Spike would die before he would harm her sister.  
  
Xander began running towards the back room, Angel just behind him.  
  
Willow decided enough was enough! She halted both men in their tracks.  
  
"Wha-? Willow!" Xander shouted. "Let me go!" Both he and Angel began struggling furiously, futilely.  
  
"Oh, stop it!" Anya snapped. "Xander, you know perfectly well Spike would never hurt Dawn."  
  
"B-but his chip doesn't work anymore!"  
  
"That doesn't change how he feels about Dawn," Tara reminded him softly.  
  
Angel growled. "You all don't know him! He's probably just been acting nice to get in your good graces, get you all comfortable around him before he turns on you!"  
  
To everyone's surprise, Buffy burst out laughing. "Oh, sorry, it's just... can you see Spike trying to pull off something like that? He wouldn't last a day undercover, much less several years! No, whatever the truth of the matter may be, I won't believe that, Angel."  
  
"Sounds more like something Angelus might try to pull, gettin' in close with folks, gettin' 'em to trust 'im before torturin' and killin' 'em all." Spike sauntered into the room, Dawn in tow.  
  
Angel growled again and strained against Willow's magical bonds, holding him in place.  
  
"Hey!" Dawn piped up. "Aren't you gonna apologize for nearly staking me?"  
  
"What? Well, of course I didn't mean to! I was aiming for Spike," Angel spat the name with disgust.  
  
"Yeah? Well anyone who wants to hurt Spike will hafta go through me!" Dawn stated belligerently.  
  
"Nibblet... what did we _ just _talk about?"  
  
To Buffy's surprise, Dawn glanced away guiltily. "I know, I know... but I don't want him to hurt you!"  
  
"Don't worry, Platelet, he won't," Spike assured the girl, caressing her hair.  
  
"Nibblet? Platelet?!" Angel repeated incredulously. "Oh, sure, he doesn't plan on eating her, right."  
  
In unison, Spike and Dawn rolled their eyes. "Oh, gimme a break!" "Don't be such a stupid git," the two said at the same time, then grinned at each other.  
  
"Where is everyone?" Dawn finally asked, just now noticing the relative emptiness of the room.  
  
"Giles took Angel's friends out to eat... wait, was that Cordelia I saw? And Wesley?" Xander asked.  
  
"Yeah, they're here," Angel told him, seeming resigned to being immobile for the time being.  
  
"Uh, why?" Buffy questioned.  
  
Angel explained about what they did in L.A. The news of Cordy as a receiver of visions from the powers came as quite a shock. As did the fact that she was now part demon.  
  
"Wait... so does that mean that _every_ girl Xander's ever dated either was, had been, or would be a demon?" Dawn laughed.  
  
"Uh, I thought he was with that girl over there...?" Angel asked.  
  
"Oh! I guess we haven't been introduced. I'm Anya Emmanuel Jenkins, Xander's fiancée."  
  
"And you're a demon?"  
  
"What?! No!" Xander exclaimed angrily.  
  
"Not anymore," Anya explained to the confused Angel. "I used to be a justice demon."  
  
"Justice demon?" Angel wondered.  
  
"Vengeance demon," Willow whispered. " 'Justice demon' is the P.C. term, I guess."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Look, I want to get down to business. Do we need to wait for Angel's group before we start?" The Slayer asked.  
  
"Yeah, we probably should. There's some stuff I want Giles and maybe Wesley to look over with me... there's a part of the spell we're having difficulty translating," Willow told her.  
  
"Trouble?" Buffy worried.  
  
"Could be, we're not sure. Oh, and that other demon, the green guy...?"  
  
"Lorne," Angel provided.  
  
"Is he here also to help with the spell?"  
  
"On the off chance I actually agree to do the spell... yeah."  
  
Just then, Angel's friends and Giles entered the Magic Box.  
  
"So!" cried Lorne, zooming in on Spike. "You the cute lil' sugarplum I'm here to hear sing?"  
  
Dawn giggled at the green demon's nickname for Spike. "Hey there, toots, who are you?"  
  
"Hi, I'm Dawn!"  
  
"Why, hello, Dawn, lovely name for a lovely girl... now, you, my friend," he turned back to Spike. "What would you like to sing?"  
  
Spike replied, "Huh?"  
  
------------------------------------  
  
**A/N: **Sorry, sorry, sort of a filler chapter, no Spuffy, I know... Bit of Spike/Dawn friendship, which I like. Singing will be coming up in the next chapter, I promise!  
  
_Please, please, please review!  
_  
  
I know Cordelia doesn't turn into a demon till a few episodes later, but oh well.  
  
_Steph_ - thanks for the excellent song recommendation! I've already got the lyrics :)


	9. Souls and Singing

Chapter 9: Souls and Singing  
  
....._Last Chapter....  
_  
"...Now, you, my friend," Lorne turned back to Spike. "What would you like to sing?"  
  
Spike replied, "Huh?"  
  
Before anything could be explained, Cordelia jumped in. "Wait a sec, I say we skip the singing and go straight to the staking. I mean, has everyone here forgotten what he was? How he tortured Angel for that Gem thing?"  
  
Not surprisingly, Xander piped up. "I agree. Let's just stake the bloodsucker."  
  
"There's no reason why he shouldn't at least have a chance to sing," Giles said patiently.  
  
"Um, and why is it again that we want him to sing?" Willow asked, confused.  
  
Lorne explained about his unusual talent, and both Giles and Angel vouched for his ability to accurately read people.  
  
"I still say we stake him. You shoulda seen what he did to Angel!" Cordelia insisted.  
  
Spike snorted belligerently. "Aw, come on, what's a lil' torture between family?"  
  
"I bet you wouldn't be saying that if it was you who'd been tortured like that, buster!" Cordelia shot back.  
  
Spike switched into vamp face, stalking closer towards the seer. All of the fighters in the room moved into defensive stances.  
  
"I didn't do anything to your precious Angel that he hadn't already done to me a hundredfold!" Spike snarled. He turned and stomped his way over to Dawn, who gave him a supportive hug. He absentmindedly gave her a one-armed hug back, an action which was noted by many present.  
  
"That was _Angelus_, not Angel!" Cordelia pointed out stubbornly.  
  
"Cordy, we may as well let him sing," Angel muttered gruffly. He remembered that William had been a nice young man, a poet, in fact. Even after he was turned, he had bloodlust, of course, but didn't particularly relish the kill. Angelus and his family had essentially tortured him till he felt otherwise. Between the torture and his desire to please Dru, Spike had become a terrifying, bloodthirsty, evil creature who exulted in violence. Was there a chance that Spike's evilness had been little more than an act, a part he'd been forced to play for over a century? Perhaps a bit of the gentle poet was still there. Perhaps at least a bit of Angelus' evil could be redeemed.  
  
"What? But, Angel -" Cordelia protested.  
  
"Cordy," he growled. "That's enough."  
  
She subsided unhappily, upset with Angel for reprimanding her so in front of her former and present friends.  
  
"No, that's not enough!" Xander ranted. "Spike has the blood of thousands on his hands, and not a speck of remorse! For that alone, I think we should stake him."  
  
To Xander's surprise, Spike didn't reply verbally. Instead, he merely looked intently at Anya.  
  
Even Xander, thick as he sometimes was, got the message. "Hey! That's totally different, she's human now, she has a soul."  
  
"How do we know that?" Dawn asked softly. "For that matter, how do you know _I_ have a soul?"  
  
There was a general outcry from the Sunnydale contingent at that. Angel and his friends were watching intently, Angel explaining quietly to his friends that Anya had been a vengeance demon.  
  
The unproductive hubbub continued for several minutes, until Tara let out a piercing whistle. After apologizing to the vampires and Lorne, whom the sound had hurt, she took charge.  
  
"I-I want to say a f-few things, without being interrupted. First of all, Anya and Dawn do have souls. Next," she continued over the 'I told you so!' coming from Xander. "I'd like to point out that having a soul d-doesn't always mean as much as we'd like to think. Being good or evil has to do with the choices we make, our actions, and while demons do tend to be drawn towards evil, they still have a choice.  
  
For those of you who don't know, I grew up believing I was half-demon. Not knowing whether I had a soul, I did some research on this matter, so I'm saying all this with references to back me up. Having a soul isn't enough to make you 'good' - murderers, abusers, rapists..."  
  
Everyone was staring at the normally quiet girl, stunned by both her words and her suddenly commanding presence. Having said her piece, she sank back down in her chair and tilted her head forward, allowing her hair to form the protective shield she'd used for so long.  
  
"Wow. That was incredible, baby," Willow said softly.  
  
Dawn jumped in. "So if a soul doesn't make that much of a difference, why does Anya deserve to live any more than Spike? After all, she doesn't seem very repentant, and she didn't even choose to become human! Spike may not have chosen to have that chip put in his head, but he did choose to help us out... and to stay with me last summer."  
  
Xander struggled. "But... but... the difference is Anya feels bad about what she did! Don't you, Ahn?" he asked desperately, begging her to answer yes.  
  
She shook her head slowly, eyes sad. "I don't know what I ever did that would make you think that, Xander. I don't have that urge to maim and torture anymore, but I don't particularly feel sorry for what I did. I was a vengeance demon; I did my job, and did it well for over a thousand years."  
  
The room was still and silent as all waited for Xander's reaction.  
  
He looked around the room, all the faces staring back at him. "This is crazy. You're all crazy! I'm getting out of here. Come on, Ahn."  
  
He marched towards the door, and had opened by the time he realized Anya hadn't moved. He turned back to her. "...Ahn?"  
  
She smiled sadly, and walked over to him. He looked pleased for a moment, until she took off her engagement ring and handed it to him.  
  
"You obviously think I'm someone I'm not," she said softly, trying to hold back a sob.  
  
Xander's face reflected first his shock, then his anger and confusion. "You- you're all insane! Crazy! This - this can't be happening... I know, it's a spell!" he exclaimed, relieved to have figured it out. "Will, what have you been up to?" He dashed over to her, and lifted her up out of her chair. "Willow! Break the spell!!" In his delirium, he began shaking her, all the while begging her to break the spell.  
  
Most of the room's occupants sat in horror, unable to move as the appalling spectacle unfolded before them. Spike was the first to move, jerking Xander away from a frightened Willow.  
  
"There! You see? See what he did?" Xander shouted, pointing at Spike, who was staring at the boy incredulously.  
  
"What _I_ did? I saved Willow from you!"  
  
"What?" Xander shook his head in confusion. "No, I was just -" he broke off as he caught the look of fear and anguish on his oldest friend's face. "No, Willow, I was only- I didn't mean-"  
  
Still shaking his head in denial, Xander ran out the door, leaving the stunned group behind him.  
  
All was quiet for a brief moment.  
  
Willow took a shaky step towards the door. "I... I should go after him..."  
  
"After what that guy just did to you?" Gunn asked disbelievingly.  
  
"He's been my best friend since kindergarten! And he's hurt and confused, and he's not thinking clearly. I have to do this -"  
  
"Fine, but not alone," Spike said, understanding her need to help her friend, even as he remained furious at the Whelp. Between Dru and Buffy, loyalty to someone - no matter what they did- was something he was all too familiar with.  
  
Willow nodded jerkily. "Um, so who..."  
  
"I'll go with you, sweetie," Tara assured her.  
  
The two witches left. Anya began sobbing, with Dawn trying to comfort her.  
  
"Wow. Drama, angst, a little violence.... reminds me of L.A.," Lorne commented drolly.  
  
"Well," Giles said, polishing his glasses, "I suppose we may as well get on with the singing, then?"  
  
Dawn piped up. "Wait, does he really have to sing? After what Tara said about souls and stuff?"  
  
"Yes, Dawn, he does. Tara may have been right, but that doesn't change the fact that we can't be certain that we can trust Spike," Giles explained.  
  
As Dawn began to protest again, Spike stopped her. "It's all right, Bit, I'll sing. 've got nothin' to hide, anyway." He was pretty sure he didn't, anyway.  
  
"Know what you want to sing, sweet cheeks?" Lorne asked.  
  
"Hmm... yeah."  
  
"Better not be that punk crap," Buffy muttered, fidgeting nervously.  
  
"Uh, maybe we should leave..." Cordelia suggested.  
  
Angel looked at her in surprise. He wanted to watch Spike make a fool of himself. "Why?"  
  
"In case he sounds like his grand-sire," Gunn laughed.  
  
Spike chuckled. "No, no worries, I sound nothin' like the Poof."  
  
Angel's friends all breathed a relieved sigh, while Angel still looked puzzled.  
  
"Well, whenever you're ready," Lorne prompted.  
  
Spike took a deep breath. "Right then."  
**  
****[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]  
  
** Beauty queen of only eighteen  
She had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her  
She always belonged to someone else  
  
I drove for miles and miles  
And wound up at your door  
I've had you so many times but somehow  
I want more  
  
I don't mind spending every night  
Under your tree in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved  
  
Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get so insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore  
  
It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want  
  
I don't mind spending every night  
Under your tree in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved  
  
I know where you hide  
Alone in your car  
Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls  
  
Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
  
I don't mind spending every night  
Under your tree in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved...  
  
("She Will Be Loved," by Maroon 5, with slight changes to the lyrics. Found at http:www. azlyrics. com/lyrics/maroon5/shewillbeloved. html)  
  
**[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]  
  
**  
"Wow," Fred breathed. "That was great!"  
  
Most everyone agreed with her, commenting on his performance. A few, however, had already moved past the sweet song. Angel, Buffy, and Spike were all staring anxiously at Lorne, waiting for his pronouncement.  
  
After dabbing away a few faux tears with an ugly polka-dotted handkerchief, Lorne congratulated Spike on his singing.  
  
"Thanks, mate, but will you tell us what we want to know, now?!" Spike replied, irritated. What if Lorne saw that Spike actually _was_ going to do something bad? He thought he could keep his bloodlust under wraps, but he could be wrong...  
  
Lorne smiled. "Well, you're one trustworthy vamp. So, I'd say no pesky binding spell - on one condition."  
  
"What's that?" Spike asked suspiciously.  
  
"Just give us your word that you won't harm a human, except in self-defense or the defense of others. I think actually saying the words will help keep you on the 'straight and narrow.' "  
  
"All right. 'I won't harm a human, except in self-defense or the defense of others.' " Spike repeated Lorne's words verbatim. "We good?"  
  
"You're all set!" Lorne assured him.  
  
"Ha! I knew it!" Dawn shouted gleefully.  
  
"Wait, Lorne, you can't be serious!" Angel protested. "There's no way a vampire could control himself like that!  
  
"Angelcakes, I know that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth." Lorne told him gently, "Just because Angelus couldn't do it, or most vamps, in fact, doesn't mean that William here can't. He's always been special, different, hasn't he?"  
  
"Yeah," muttered Angel sullenly. "Not to mention stubborn."  
  
"See? That's exactly what will get him through this! He's too stubborn to give up."  
  
"Hey, where did Buffy go?" Dawn wondered, suddenly noticing her sister's absence. "And Spike?"  
  
"I believe they both left... needed some time to think what this means to them," Giles responded. "And, Angel, although I must agree that the level of control Spike will need does seem incredible, remember that he has been conditioned, over the past several years, to equate harming a human with pain."  
  
Angel grumbled so more, and Cordelia argued with Lorne over his readings. After several minutes of this, Fred, Gunn, and Wesley dragged them out of the Magic Box, and back to LA.  
  
The few remaining Scoobies - Giles, Dawn, and a red-eyed Anya - closed up the store, and headed to the Summers. Anya slept in the missing witches' room, while Giles took the sofa.  
  
.............._Later that night_...............  
  
Buffy had just finished staking a couple of vamps when Spike stepped out of the shadows, clapping, as he'd done when they first met.  
  
"Nice dance, as always, luv. But where are those awful quips of yours?"  
  
"Not really in a quipping mood tonight."  
  
"No?" Spike questioned, trying to draw her out.  
  
"No..."  
  
"Hear back from the witches yet?"  
  
"No, not yet... "  
  
The two remained quiet for a minute, until the uncomfortable silence was more than Buffy could bear.  
  
"Um, you sounded really good, with that song earlier... nice lyrics, too."  
  
"Thanks, pet," Spike muttered, somewhat abashed.  
  
"Are - are you mad at me?" Buffy asked in a small voice.  
  
"What? No. Why would I be?" Spike could actually think of a number of reasons why he could be mad at her, such as her refusal to accept that he loved her, or -  
  
"Because I didn't trust you until some green demon said I could."  
  
"Oh, that." Spike thought for a moment. "Not really angry about that, luv. I woulda liked you to trust me without Angel's buddy's say-so, but I get why you were scared to... so you definitely do trust me now?"  
  
Buffy took several moments before answering. "Yeah, you know, I guess I do." She laughed happily. "I really do trust you!" Buffy came over to Spike, and looked him in the eyes. "I trust you," she repeated again.  
  
"Glad to hear it, luv," Spike replied somewhat warily. The Slayer was acting a bit oddly, had a funny expression on her face, like she was trying to figure something out.  
  
"So, now that we know I trust you... how 'bout I also tell you that I... like you," Buffy said softly. No way she was gonna say the dreaded word 'love!' Well... not just yet, anyway.  
  
"R-really?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Yes, Spike really."  
  
To prove her point, she leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss got a little out of hand, and when she finally drew back for air, she panted, "Believe me now?"  
  
"Think I could use a little more convincin'," Spike smirked as he recaptured her lips.  
  
A/N: Hah! Bet you all thought I wasn't gonna finish! But no, I FINALLY did... my muse up and left me, but between reading good Spuffy fics, and a few lovely reviews (thanks for those!), I managed to get this out. Hope it's satisfactory. I'm off to school tomorrow, so no more till next summer, probably.  
  
Hope you all enjoyed my lil' story, and thanks once more to all those who reviewed!


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